The Crayon

I believe that we have an amazing God that is with us each and every minute of every day. I also believe he not only hears us when we pray to him but he speaks back to us in the most incredible and intimate ways. Just because we are raising families does not mean that we have to wait till they are grown before we can find time to meet with our Heavenly Father. He desires to meet with us now, when we fumble, when we fall and in the midst of our messes.  One of the most tender and loving verses says in Isaiah 40:11 that “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that have young”.

Sometimes I hear him whisper how much he cares for me as I watch the Birds feeding their babies in the nest they’ve built on the outside of our house. As my daughter holds tight to my hand as we cross the street, I’m reminded of the verse in Isaiah 41:10 that says, “Do not fear for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely, I will help you, surely, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Our beautiful loving Father is near. He is not distant or far away. My children marvel at the fact that the Bible tell us he who watches over you will neither slumber nor sleep! What a beautiful promise. We and our little ones are in his constant loving care.

I would like to share with you one of those times when I was slumbering and God was clearly not; where He met with me in the night and in my dreams.

I had a dream that I was in a room with a group of people who were all sitting on chairs in a circle. In my dream, God (I couldn’t see his face but I knew it was him) walked into the center of the circle carrying a large box of crayons. This was THE ultimate box of like 90 crayons with every beautiful unique colour. I remember getting this box once as a kid and discovering it had colours like teal and maroon and gold and silver. As he began to walk slowly around the circle he picked out a specific coloured crayon for each person. I was excited and began to wonder what crayon he would chose for me. When he got to me, he drew out a white crayon and placed it in my hand.

To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I felt confused and let down. Thoughts began to go through my mind. Why would he chose something for me that seemed so unseen and insignificant.  A white crayon would barely be noticed. When given the choice who would want that crayon or ever pick the white one. I felt like my expectations had been crushed but still I knew the gift came from my Father so I held on to it while I watched everyone around me.

They were using their crayons and creating beautiful masterpieces with them. I knew I shouldn’t feel that way, but I felt jealous and guilty for comparing myself to those around me.

Then all of a sudden, the scene changed and everything got very dark and stormy. I noticed that the crayon that I had once thought to be useless and insignificant was now a bright shining light upon this dark and stormy canvas. The very thing that I had thought to be of no value was now seen for what it was, a treasure, placed in my hand by my Heavenly Father.

After I woke up ( about 3am) I got my journal and wrote the dream down. God continued to speak to me, and I began to realize how many people in the Bible had been given a white crayon as well. Mary had been given one when she was told that as a virgin, she would carry the son of God. Noah had been given a white crayon when he was handed blue prints to build an ark. Joseph has been given a white crayon when he was given dreams he did not understand. Moses was given a white crayon when he was told to stand before Pharaoh and ask for the freedom of his people. Jonah was given a white crayon when he was swallowed by a fish. But they held onto the hand of the one who would sustain them and in the midst of chaos and uncertainty, their white crayon became a beacon bringing light and strength, hope and courage where there was once darkness.

There may be many times in our lives, and I’m especially talking to Moms right now, when you will feel like you’ve been handed a white crayon. The days seem long and you wonder if you’re making a difference. You may wonder at times why others seem like they’ve been given something better. You may also feel, like a white crayon, unnoticed and unseen. Do I matter? God this doesn’t seem to make sense! But I want to encourage you today to trust in the one, who loves you, who sees you and who, out of every crayon in the box, has chosen the perfect one for you. It may not look like everyone else’s, but God has a perfect unique plan for each of us and in His perfect timing, the gifts that God has placed in your hands will shine in places and in ways that no one else’s can.

James 1:17 says “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows”.